The ‘Why???!!!’ feeling.

I feel ok now but think there is a hint of a rising panic in my chest. The question in my body, from my head to my toes, is, “Why isn’t it working?”. I think that once I have had an unsuccessful cycle #4, that panic is going to start slowly rising like the Bangkok flood water of a few months ago. Is it simply a matter of my being unlucky and in the 80-85 percentile for whom IUI doesn’t work? Or am I being treated a bit sloppily by my clinic? Should I consider changing my doc?

Next time I see him I will have a lot of questions for him. If I hadn’t read about all this so much, I would be in total ignorance, because he does not really offer any information spontaneously.
I see that others undergoing these procedures have ultrasounds after their triggers to see if the follicles have responded.
I see that others have double IUIs.
I see there are lots of progesterone options apart from the pills I am taking; the pessaries seemed to causes an allergy in my vagina, but I have read recently that they can be put in your back passage (why didn’t my doc tell me that there was another way to administer the most effective progesterone supplement?). I could also have injections ( I fear those but the ends justify the means!!).
I see that my doc’s response to any of my questions doesn’t seem to be thinking of any next IUI step, as outlined above, rather it is always the same: “well, IUI just isn’t that effective. Be patient.”
That’s all very well, but if there are additional things which can be done to absolutely maximise my chances while undergoing these IUIs, I want to do them! From my end, I have barely drunk a drop of coffee or alcohol for months; I am jogging at least four times a week, eating a balanced and highly nutritious diet, avoiding processed food almost entirely (having a partner who is a chef is a help here); and I am taking clomid before ovulation and progesterone afterward because of my luteal phase issue. I don’t want to be railroaded unto IVF rather than maximising the efficiency of the IUI. If I had the money I might go ahead with it right now, but the thought of investing that much for another failure is terrifying. We have just about enough saved up to do that once, and if it isn’t a success, it will surely feel like the end of the road.

This cycle my period came 5 days before I expected it. Why was that?

Ah, poor doc will be bombarded with questions, but I have to do it.

WHY isn’t it working?



  1. My clinic doesn’t do an ultrasound after my trigger either. At first I didn’t think much of it but after two failed attempts with the trigger its starting to piss me off. I have an appointment with my Dr on the 16 so I can tell her my concerns and hopefully I can get an ultrasound. My wife and I also decided to do two IUI’s for the next cycle as well even though my clinic has never mentioned that either. Hopefully you get the answers you want. Good luck!

    1. thanks..! I will be asking the relevant questions on CD9 or 10! (now day 6). I’ll let you know the outcome! I know we are all different but it’s great to have some discussion with girls in the same situation.

  2. I’m so sorry #4 wasn’t the one. But I am living proof that iui can work! I would highly recommend the ultrasounds before and after trigger. My doc does an ultrasound every time I see her. EVERY. TIME!!! I get the first one on day 2 of my period (yuck), another before my menopur shots on day 5, another before she’ll trigger, and of course one before each iui procedure. This has been extremely helpful in timing the inseminations, since my follicular phase is shorter than most women. My doc also recommends doing 2 iui’s per cycle – 1 the day after the trigger shot, before I ovulate, and another the next day, after I ovulate. This means that there are swimmers waiting for my egg(s) to release and another sample that goes in to meet the already-released egg(s). It costs a bit more, but I think it was worth it. Hang in there, and don’t be afraid to talk to yoru doctor about the other techniques you’ve read about. We’re really fortunate to have a lesbian doc who caters specifically to lesbian couples. She has been really open to our questions and to explaining the reasons behind her protocol. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts – don’t give up!!!

    1. At the moment, I get my clomid on day three, then I have an ultrasound on day 9 or 10, and he says ‘do the trigger at 6am the day after tomorrow’ and ‘come and do the IUI at blah o’clock 36 (hours later). I will definitely ask him more questions as if he won’t budge on anything else, I think he might on the two IUIs. He’s never had a case like ours before (lezbos) – he might be willing to learn from us?

  3. Olive Niemand · · Reply

    I am so sorry ((hugs)) I am in the same boat. Raise your questions to your doctor but do get an second opinion then you decide. I changed doctors and was treated completely different and he listern to my concerns and I am just happy I did do that.

    Please do think about it, good luck and hang in there!!

    1. I will think about it, it depends how he responds next time – i’ll need to write down some questions before I go, or if I get flustered I might forget! I think I may have to go alone because my partner has to work, which will make me eve more fluster-able. Anyway, I can’t wait to put it to him! Let’s see.

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