It is very hard to think about my plans in the months and years to come without knowing whether I am going to be preg or not. For example, if I am not preg, I’d like to go diving with my babe in feb. If I’m not preg, I’d like to plan to fly to my best friend’s wedding next June. If I’m not having a baby I just want to get used to the idea, and stop feeling that horrible yearning when I see friends with their small children. What if it actually isn’t going to happen for us? When do we stop trying? Can we ever come to terms with it? I like to know the reasons for things, so the idea that it might ‘just not work’ is very hard to swallow indeed.
Arrgh. I wish it was a yes or a no, and not this horrible drawn out MAYYYYYYYBEEEEE…. Try again another day…!