So it’s kind of going ok with the 2WW so far. I feel slightly detached, and wonder if what’s helping is my imagination. I can’t help imagining that the embryos could have been obliterated in the first few hours after the, ahem, ‘discomfort’ I was in. The first hour is what’s meant to be the zen time… Absolute inactivity.. my body was having none of it. And i have started to harden… to kind of lose the faith a bit. I have to hold on to that other life-vision; the one where we grieve (coz that’s what’ll be happening when that decision to give up has been made) but then have an excellent adventurous life, zooming about and knowing we did everything we could have done, and drew a line. (not there yet, but I am trying to prepare my heart for another failure).
So, more excitingly, yesterday in the afternoon I definitely had a few cramps. Same place as last time’s persistent cramps. I have had nothing today yet though.
We are at the mall today. I hate malls and we generally don’t have them at all in the UK (at least they are entirely avoidable). But damn, the heat here has been close to 40 in the shade this week. It killed every single one of our fish (formerly in a huge bowl on our balcony). The heat is literally tenonly reason we are here. We are not buying, we are just walking in the cool. I don’t mind coming if I want to buy sthg /have money to spend, or of we are here to go to the cinema. But we are with A’s mum and she won’t be keen on that. It’s actually too hot to be outside!!!
Talk to you soon lovely ladies!