Hellfire and Brimstone!

Everything looks set to go for our trip to Hanoi at the beginning of July. We booked the flights for the first part of the trip where we ‘give notice’, and i also obtained my Visa. The actual DATE isn’t set in stone yet, though we are considering August 20th. That is because we met on the 20th of October and we mention that special date in the month, every month (cheesy, I know!!!). A just needs to arrange her Certificate of No Impediment (CNI) now.

We are so excited not just to be getting married, but to be doing so in such an exciting place. There is a lot wrong with the UK, but I am really grateful I am not from the US right now. If I were, I would be wanting to marry my amazing partner and being told flat out that I can’t, and worse, that if I want to come home, that fact means we have to effectively break up.

The UK’s solution is a Civil Partnership and in the ceremony, you are not allowed to use the terms ‘marriage’ or refer to your same-sex partner by the traditional word ‘wife’ or ‘husband’.  That is a little bit of a shame, but it is somewhat compensated by the huge fact that you can in effect legally ‘marry’ your chosen partner. One unacceptable blight, though, is that you are unable to cite adultery as cause for dissolution /divorce (what does that say about the latent opinion that all homos sleep around?!). Anyway the government is trying to legalise gay Marriage proper, but the churches are not very keen (except for one branch, whose name eludes me -I’ll add it if it comes back to me), so I think it has had limited effect.

This prattling of mine was inspired by the R-wingers’ poop-spouting about gay marriage. One idiot says ‘Polygamy is illegal, what’s different about polygamy?’ ERRRRR it involves multiple partners and one assumes, a skew towards a male patriarch who surrounds himself with subservient females. Nice for the man, I suppose. Not so nice when he decides he will marry his oldest daughter. If people plan to make an emotionally and legally stable partnership with one other person, how can it be compared to (a) polygamy, or (b) bestiality and (c) pedophilia?! I mean the arguments beggar belief. How do people with  this tiny number of brain cells ever get to be in charge of more than a hot-dog stand!? (And, I bet people who care so much are secret homos! (‘The lady doth protest too much!’))

To watch for yourself:  Click –>here<— and scroll down!



  1. thebings · · Reply

    Our state allows something similar- a domestic partnership. All the benefits of marriage (in just our state) but without really getting to say you’re married. “Are you married?” “No, I’m domestically partnered!” Haha. Not a perfect world, by any means, but we’re slowly getting there!

    1. It is definitely better than nothing. Gay people have it really good in the UK, actually. We are really lucky. It’s great that certain states are slowly taking up the gauntlet, but my god, it is terrifying what lunatic opposition there is!

      1. No kidding! And our state’s CONSTITUTION now has marriage defined as “One man, one woman.” Infuriating!

  2. Good points, all. I don’t know if I would give up the term “marriage” in order to have my civil rights but perhaps having the rights is more important than having the word. In either case, I am glad you’re able to get married and in Hanoi, to boot!

    1. I think everyone colloquially refers to CPs as weddings and to their Civil Partner as their husband or wife. It is only when you come to use an official form or do something in an offical capacity (or indeed at the ceremony itself) that the correct term is used. I don’t think I would plan to introduce A to anyone as my CP… She’ll be my wife (or my Mia in Thai!)

  3. Marriage equality is legal in my state in the U.S., one of the few. Hopefully it stays that way and things get better here.

    Best of luck in Vietnam! I’m so happy you have this all sorted out!

  4. Yeah – the ongoing US protection of marriage thing really is amazing to me. Like marriage as an institution is perfect and same-sex marriage will mess everything up!
    Glad your state is one of the forward thinking ones, and, that miraculously, you haven’t all spontaneously combusted for living surrounded by such sin 😉

  5. Quakers

    1. Quakers definitely aren’t the group I was thinking of. I am very annoyed I have forgotten. My friend had her straight wedding in a church of this denomination and had a service without reference to God. They do do gay weddings too but the fee is very high compared to straight ones.

  6. This continues to baffle those of us in the US, too. It’s as if my marriage somehow makes the straight folks’ marriages less valid. Whatever…I live in one of the constitutionally “one man, one woman” states and routinely introduce MKL as “my wife,” sometimes just to make people angry, but mostly because that’s exactly who she is! What’s more infuriating is the legal battle we’ll have to wage just to get her name on the birth certificate once our baby is born. As if conceiving this child without any kind of insurance reimbursement wasn’t expensive enough, now the lawyers get their cut, too.

    1. I worry that they might all be right. Since I married (civil partnered) my wife, all I notice in the news is stories of straight marriages going awry….affairs, divorces, assaults, marriages lasting only days. It must be me. I apologise to the institution of marriage for affecting it thus.

      1. hehe, yes, what a burdern you must carry!

    2. Yeah, it is really unfair and shit. But at least it is doable, I suppose.

  7. It’s pretty amazing that we’re even part way there. Only twelve years ago there was no legal UK option at all for committed partnership, and you could still be sacked for being gay until 2006. Times are a-changing 🙂

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